As I outlined in my previous post, Craig and I have a little friendly competition going on where (TL;DR) whoever loses the least percent of body weight has to pay, in dollars, the combined total of weight lost by both people. Last time, I had to pay in $14.
Well, guess who got to pay into the travel jar again!? Me. I did.
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| So much money I can't help but throw it |
There's now exactly $20 in the travel jar. "But Ryan," you say. "Why is there only $20? That's only $6 more than last time." I am so glad you asked, dear readers!
Last week, we broke the scale we had been using. Not kidding.
Correction: the scale was a deadbeat and clearly hadn't been doing its job FROM THE VERY BEGINNING (to be honest, we're not sure what happened - but the crack down the side of it couldn't have been, like, good).
As a result, our weights would fluctuate anywhere from 5 to 50 pounds per minute (not exaggerating for once in my life), so needless to say (but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway, because that's the precedent for such cliches) we were not really getting accurate measurements. As a result, we had no idea whether we even had accurate records of weight loss from the first week, let alone the 5-50 pounds we each lost in the second week. So, we decided that week two was a wash, promptly bought a new scale, and started over again.
Now, some may have called my response to the broken scale and the money I had already paid as "bratty." Maybe others would have described it as "irrational." Whether it was the twenty pound weight loss the broken scale recognized for Craig or the one pound weight loss is recognized for me because EVERYTHING IS RIGGED IN THE UNITED STATES WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY, but in the moment we realized the scale's betrayal, I proceeded to stomp my feet and slap myself across the face with a stalk of anti-calories known as celery and proclaim defiantly, "I AM TAKING MY MONEY BACK FROM LAST WEEK." Because I'll be damned if I am going to miss out on FOURTEEN WHOLE DOLLARS.
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| GIMME BACK MY FOURTEEN DOLL HAIRS |
Once I got some buffalo chicken dip and pizza running through my veins again (what, it was a movie marathon SO DON'T GET IN MY FACE OR I MIGHT SLAP IT), I relaxed and relinquished my campaign against the Travel Jar and decided to leave the $14 in the jar, because #martyr
So what have the last two weeks been like for us? Well, Craig has decided he is going to go vegan at some time in the future, and I'm like, "Cool more fried chicken for me." Not that we eat much fried chicken, but sometimes a girl just needs her Popeyes, you know?
I already mentioned buffalo chicken dip and pizza, and I've actually had both (so has Craig). Anyone who isn't a stranger to this blog is aware that I have some
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| impulse control |
issues. Whether it be Yankee Candle, books, or cheese, generally if I see something I want, I'm going to go ahead and have it. This would be why HMR never worked for me as a program (as tempting as their vacuum sealed meals are...) and why restricting my diet in any way (such as giving up cheese, other dairy products, sugar, etc.) has always failed. I don't do well when I restrict myself because I have very little self control when it comes to food. In fact, the only time I've succeed in restricting myself was with the Standard Process 21-Day Cleanse. The issue with that is that it's for 21 days and then you're on your own. While you feel great after the cleanse is over, the five pizzas you eat in celebration basically defeats the entire purpose - your body is once again polluted, and you haven't learned a damn thing.
But while losing weight this time, I've had pizza, buffalo chicken dip, and even some candy. The distinction here is that I am not overdoing it - I am eating a normal human sized portion, and then I determine whether or not I am still hungry. If I'm still hungry, I'll eat a little more (or choose a healthier alternative to fill me up) and, if I'm hungry, I push away from the table. This is probably pretty standard for most people, but as someone who would rather purge his stomach just for another bowl a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and/or sell his soul to Beelzebub himself for a jelly filled Krispy Kreme doughnut,
his is serious progress for me.
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| Just hanging out with Beelzebub |
So we've had two weeks since my last post and, in total, we've lost over 30 pounds combined since the first week of January. Joking aside, I am very proud of both of us for continuing on this path to a healthier "us." I am disappointed that our competition suffered because of a broken scale, but I am thankful that we now have a scale that works properly.
Anyway, until next time. You know what I'll be doing.
Comment below to share your own health stories (I love to hear them) and follow my journey to find my next macguffolution and/or slice of pizza...but I repeat myself.
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