New Beginnings

Dear Readers,

Holy smokes, this is starting off like a letter! How formal! How scandalous! Who's dead? What's happening? What's going on?

I have typed, deleted, typed, deleted, typed, and deleted again. So here it goes. Everything is fine. In fact, it's way better than fine. I have some very good news to share with all of you - and a little bittersweet news, too. Let's start with the good, shall we?

I am very excited to share with you all that a short story I wrote earlier this year - entitled "Slosh" - has been selected for publication in an anthology, and will be published Fall 2017/Winter 2018. This is the first time I've ever submitted fiction for consideration to any publisher, and I am LOSING MY MIND from excitement that they want to take a chance on my work. The story is dark. It's tragic. I'm not sure it's any good - you'd have to confer with my first readers on that.

Speaking of my early readers, I'd be remiss not to thank them each individually. I could not have completed the manuscript edits or gained the confidence to seek out publication if not for:

• Jenna Allen
• Kristin Smith
• Courtney Wick
• Kathy Tosh
• Hope Linker

And, of course, my husband Craig, who I'm sure never saw a story like "Slosh" coming out of my brain. Thank you for your continued kindness, patience, love, and inspiration. You're my hero. And I am so glad to be sharing this adventure with you. 

Now, with this good news comes a little bit of the bittersweet news. Deep breaths, everyone, deep breaths...

I am saying goodbye to (ryan)vention. This probably comes as no shock to most of you, given that this blog has sat dormant for several months with minimal updates. I started this blog to find my creative voice again and to figure out what my "next thing" - my next macguffin - would be. Over the last two years, I've become even more obsessed with Yankee Candle, I've had a Pad Thai meltdown, I've continuously failed at weight loss (though I am down 30 pounds for 2017, so I consider that a win), I've made fun of my family members, and mused on dozens of other topics. But most importantly, I found my creative voice again. I found my way back to writing.

And I couldn't have done any of this without all of you. Some of you I know (hi, Mom) and some of you live thousands of miles away and we'll likely never meet. But each of you helped me to find my voice. You helped me to be confident. We've laughed together. We've cried together (just me? Thanks for nothing, Pad Thai). We've shopped for candles together. I adore you all. And I hope you've cherished this time as much as I have.

Now, silver lining: I'm not leaving the blogosphere - I'm just moving shop. As of today, www.jryanblesse.com is live and ready for visitors. The blog portion of the website will go live tomorrow morning at 6am, which will introduce my readers to what they should expect moving forward. TL;DR, the new website is focused on my journey as a writer and attempting to connect with other writers and readers. Now, that doesn't mean we won't have fun - I do plan to incorporate travel and lifestyle topics like what you've become accustomed to here (be on the look out for my first unboxing video coming next week). But I think it's important for me to learn more about being a storyteller and to share what those lessons with others as I go. I'll also be providing updates on any new published works.

(ryan)vention is very special to me, and it's harder to write this than I thought it would be. This new adventure is REALLY scary. This must be how Oprah felt making her own cable network...

Anyway, I hope you'll read "Slosh" when it hits the presses (I'll let you know about that over at www.jryanblesse.com when I know), and that you'll join me in my new adventures. You can find me at the following places:

Website: www.jryanblesse.com
New blog (please subscribe!): www.jryanblesse.com/blog
Facebook: www.facebook.com/jryanblesse
Twitter and Instagram: @jryanblesse

As for (ryan)vention, it will stay right here where it's always been. 

Thank you for helping me find my macguffin and for being my first readers. I love you all. 

To new beginnings (and to finding your macguffin).

- J. Ryan Blesse

14 Things I Learned About Selling a House

The biggest event of 2017 has been selling our first home together and buying our second home, and it's admittedly the biggest macguffin we've undertaken since I first started the blog. Now that we're in our first "our" home (since I just moved into Craig's house like a piece of Walmart furniture) and I've had time to reflect on the entire process while poolside with an umbrella drink because I'M A KARDASHIAN NOW, I wanted to share the things I learned and experienced while selling our first home. Because, #expert.

50 Reasonable Thoughts On the LeFou-Is-Gay Disney Backlash

It's been a while. I know, I don't write, I don't call, let's move past it because I am FIRED UP and ready to go.

Okay, so have y'all heard about this controversy surrounding Disney's remake of Beauty and the Beast? Yes, you read the correctly. There's controversy with a Disney film. Wanna know why? Okay, the TL;DR is that Disney recently revealed that *SPOILER ALERT* LeFou will have a gay moment toward the end of the film, and EVERYONE IN CONSERVATIVE AMERICA LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS. 

book (ry)view: 1984 by George Orwell

"WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."

These are the words that define Oceania's society. Oceania is just one of three states that exist in the world following the second World War, and it is marked constant war with its neighboring states Eastasia and Eurasia (though they've only ever been at war with one of these states, according to the Party and their particular revisions to history on any given day), by intense regulation of human activity (including, but not limited to, emotions and thinking), constant monitoring by the all-knowing Big Brother (as well as fellow Oceania citizens and Thought Police), extreme punishment through brain washing and torture, and - in the end - the the destruction of the idea of free will (as well as all other ideas that do not match those of the Party's). 

The story follows Winston Smith's fall from these societal parameters, and his attempt to start a small if not inspiring rebellion. It begins with him beginning a journal questioning the totalitarian government he has known for his entire life. This act alone could put Winston into the crosshairs of the Thought Police, but, of course, our hero does not stop there. Instead, he begins a romantic and sexual relationship with a woman named Julia (by the way, in Oceania, sex is restricted to only procreative ends - women, in particular, are not permitted to enjoy it) and forges an alliance with both her and a member of the Party's regime. Of course, inspiring as it may be to those with a rebellious heart, Winston's story is stocked full of fear, hate, love, betrayal, and - even in the final sentence - tragedy.

We Broke the Scale.

Well, folks, we are a little over three weeks into weight loss hell. We've both lost more weight. We're both feeling motivated. But mostly I am still hungry, because ice cream still exists and because, chubby. 

As I outlined in my previous post, Craig and I have a little friendly competition going on where (TL;DR) whoever loses the least percent of body weight has to pay, in dollars, the combined total of weight lost by both people. Last time, I had to pay in $14. 

Well, guess who got to pay into the travel jar again!? Me. I did. 

So much money I can't help but throw it

I have a feeling we'll be traveling to the ~Holiday Inn~ at the end of this on my dimes, because I keep eating cheese because I'm not a monster. *Side eye*

There's now exactly $20 in the travel jar. "But Ryan," you say. "Why is there only $20? That's only $6 more than last time." I am so glad you asked, dear readers!

Last week, we broke the scale we had been using. Not kidding.

You right now probably.

book (ry)view: The Colorado Kid by Stephen King

Newsmen Vince Teague and Dave Bowie are the sole news providers for a small Maine newspaper, The Daily Islander. They've recently hired an ambitious intern named Stephanie McCann, who quizzes the newsmen on whether or not they have ever, in 50 years, encountered a truly unsolved mystery. That is when they tell her a story - and challenge her to put the pieces they do have together - about a body they found on the beach in 1980. This is the mystery, of course, of The Colorado Kid.

book (ry)view: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 - The Long Way Home

If you have not seen seasons 1-7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and plan to do so, stop reading now as this review contains spoilers of Buffy's original run.