book (ry)view: The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher has been known for many things: alcoholic, drug addict, champion for mental health care reform, a sharp and dry wit, author, and actress. But one role rises above all these other tragedies and accomplishments. That role, of course, is Princess (now General) Leia Organa.  Fisher takes us through life as the daughter of Hollywood royalty, her desire to achieve normalcy and hesitation on wanting to become an actress, her first role in the film Shampo, and her subsequent casting and propulsion out of Hollywood royalty and into intergalactic royalty as Princess (now General) Leia Organa.

I felt it was only appropriate to make this book a priority at the beginning of my 2017 book challenge. For those of you living under a rock, Fisher unexpectedly passed away from complications resulting from a heart attack last month, followed closely in death by her mother Debbie Reynolds. It devastated Star Wars fans and Hollywood at large to lose such significant cultural so close together – the Shakespearean tragedy that they were mother and daughter only heightened this sense of despair. This book was released very shortly before her untimely passing, and so it only felt right to read her last publication as soon as possible. The resulting experience was enthralling and surprising, given that it didn’t exactly meet my expectations (though I do not mean this in a negative way).

The majority of the time is spent primarily on Fisher’s complicated relationship with her legendary fictional doppelganger, Leia. Fisher, while expresses intense gratitude and privilege for playing the role of Princess Leia, has not spoken publicly about the role in any significant capacity prior to the publication of this book, and I am grateful she chose to do so, because while many people may think that Fisher owed her life to Leia and Star Wars, the reality is much grayer. The truth is, Fisher and Leia shared a complicated intrapersonal relationship with one another. While Fisher felt privileged to play the role, she also resented both the responsibility that came with playing Leia as well as the shadow cast over Fisher by the intergalactic princess. Once she became Leia, she couldn’t just be Carrie anymore – she had to embody both, an impossible task. It’s in this strange dichotomy that this memoir truly shines. Though, perhaps accidentally, this shine is a bit overshadowed by the affair with Harrison Ford.

In truth, a surprising (and, at first glance, disappointing) amount of time is spent on her affair with then-married Ford during the filming of A New Hope. I would have said #SpoilerAlert, but you’d have to have lived under a rock (the same one if you didn't know she passed away) for the last two months to not know this information already. The time spent on this particular topic was surprising for a few reasons. First, nothing entirely scandalous (outside of his being married, of course) is revealed. In fact, Fisher even mentions that she is holding back intimate details because, well, they’re intimate and private. Second, the entire world knew about basically every detail thanks to all the news outlets in the world discussing it immediately following the release. I can understand why – it is for some reason big earth shattering news in our world obsessed with celebrity – but at the same time, a bit of reservation and restraint would have been nice on the part of news outlets given that over 50 pages are devoted to this topic in this ~250 page book. Third, as a lifelong fan of Ford’s, I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of the revelation, given how private he has been his entire life about his life outside of Hollywood.

But time spent in Fisher’s and Ford’s affair is not time poorly spent. In fact, I think most of us can relate to Fisher’s narrative. Without giving much away, Fisher’s portrayal of the affair is defined by the idea of first (and often unrequited) love. Ford was married and older than Fisher by several years. Fisher was nineteen and relatively inexperienced in romantic relationships. She fell for Ford, and – as expected – this first love has followed her through life. Between her reflections on that time, paired with excerpts from the diary she kept during the affair itself, we get both a painful portrait of a woman who wanted to be loved by who she loved, and a powerful image of a woman – an icon – who was formed in part from the resulting turmoil (though this broken heart was certainly not the biggest upheaval Fisher experienced in life). In sum, Fisher’s narrative around the affair further humanizes and already very human legend. It is filled with witticisms, rumination, hope, love, heartbreak, and poetry.

I would be lying if I said I expected something different from the book, but what I actually got to read in place of that expectations was very much enjoyable and revealing. I had expected more “behind the scenes” of Star Wars and Fisher’s role in that mythos. What readers will experience instead is Fisher behind the scenes of Leia and, in a grander context, Star Wars. The difference is slight, but it’s important – the focus here is not on Leia or Star Wars. Rather, it is about Carrie.

In the end, this memoir is about an iconic woman coming to terms with and embracing a separate – though, in all honestly, inseparable – fictional icon she was both privileged and cursed with embodying for nearly four decades both on- and off-screen. 

Add it to your Goodreads by clicking on the book cover above. Happy reading!