2017 Macguffolutions #8: YEAR OF THE...

YEAR OF THE NOVEL

This is the big one. Now, I've written a full-length novel before (no, it's not published and never will be - at least, not in its current and original state), so I know I am capable of doing so, but it seems extremely daunting right now. But, my ultimate goal would be to write full time for a living. I am not going to get there by NOT writing a novel. I have a big idea. I've plotted it out in my head (and a bit on paper) so I can see where it's going. Now all I have to do is write the damn thing. If I haven't written a full-length novel by year's end, I don't deserve to call myself a writer. For this reason, I hereby declare 2017 as THE YEAR OF THE NOVEL.

2017 Macguffolutions #7: Get Physical

Get Physical: Start - and I mean really start - taking this whole health thing seriously

No, I do not want to join a gym (but thank you to those of you who have offered recommendations and/or services - I really don't know what my problem is with exercising in public places). I think it's time to be realistic about the goals here. I'm approximately the same weight I was a year ago, give or take a few - and I do mean a few - pounds. I'd like to drop 50 pounds over the next year. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so focused on the pounds, but that's the way it's going to be. Even 50 pounds down, I won't be where I should be, but I'll be closer to where I need to be. If I lose more - GREAT! If not, then that's okay, too. But I'd like to be able to say I lost 50 pounds at this time next year.

So, what's the plan...other than losing 50 pounds? SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

• I want to do Zumba 2-3 days a week. No, I do not want to attend a class. I'm going to dust off my DVDs and do it alone in my basement.
• On days when I do not do Zumba, I want to walk (more than on the days when I do Zumba)
• Regardless of whether I do Zumba or walk, I want to fit in 15,000 steps every day
• Eat a diet that consists mostly of lean meats, fruits, and veggies. If I manage to do this consistently, I can "cheat" once a week by having one item that does not fit into those categories. Special occassions, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, do not count.

The main thing I want to figure out is how to reincorporate exercise into my life. My excuse for leaving it behind was academia. It was a bad excuse, but now I really don't have an excuse - even a bad one. I can take the stairs, walk to the furthest restroom, park farther away in the parking lot, and walk around the block a few times a day. 

2017 Macguffolutions #6: Get Organized

Get Organized: Use a daily planner.

I used the be the most organized person on the planet*,but ever since leaving academia, I have managed to leave the planners behind to live the ~unplanned life~. While that's all fine and dandy, I'm not getting any writing done. Since Ryan has become all play and no work (outside of his 9-5), I am going to have to start scheduling out such things. This planner will be especially important when it comes to accomplishing the BIG macguffolution for 2017.

*Unsubstantiated claim, since that's what's vogue right now.

2017 Macguffolutions #5: Write

Write: Complete a different writing prompt for 20 minutes every day.

I have three writing prompt books collecting dust on my desk. When I was in undergrad, I made it a point - even after switching to a Communication & Rhetorical Studies major - to write to a writing prompt for 20 minutes (no more, no less) every day. Many of these prompts have led to ideas (or the full fruition) of larger works. 

2017 Macguffolutions #4: Journal

Journal: Begin journaling three positive things per day.

Per my 2016 macguffolutions in review, I want to take one of those 2016 macguffolutions and really try to find a semi-measurable way to track my progress. I am cynical and I am pessimistic, and while I do not view either of these personal attributes negatively, I know cynics and pessimists aren't always the funnest to be around. There's also a difference between being cynical and pessimistic and just being down in the dumps and negative - it's these latter two attributes I would like to work on.

So, what's my big idea? While traveling in November, I took to bullet journaling - I didn't get into too much detail about anything, but I wrote down significant moments of the day so I could look back on them later and remember them that way. It led to some really interesting developments, including an entire short story about a busker in the London Tube. 

So, in 2017, I am going to hold myself to writing down 3 positive things - what I am thankful for, what I observed, what I really enjoyed about the day, why I am appreciative of the people around me - every single day. I think forcing myself to look at what is so positive in my life instead of focusing on what perhaps could have been better will really help to get me out of the blues I sometimes find myself in.

2017 Macguffolutions #3: Read 70 Books

Read 70 books. Among those 70, finish reading the works** of Stephen King.

I read a lot of Stephen King in 2016, and even became a part of a Stephen King book club with some friends. Given that he is probably my favorite contemporary author, I figure I should read his complete works. I'm about halfway through them as of right now - so only 1 million more to go (technically 45). Here are the works I have yet to read, but will be reading in 2017:

• Bag of Bones
• The Bazaar of Bad Dreams
• Black House
• Blaze (as Richard Bachman)
• Christine
• The Colorado Kid
• Cycle of the Werewolf
• The Dark Tower: The Wastelands
• The Dark Tower: Wizard and Glass
• The Dark Tower: The Wind Through the Keyhole
• The Dark Tower: Wolves of the Calla
• The Dark Tower: Song of Susannah
• The Dark Tower
• The Dead Zone
• Desperation
• Different Seasons
• Dolores Claiborne
• Dreamcatcher
• Duma Key
• End of Watch
• Finders Keepers
• Firestarter
• From a Buick 8
• Four Past Midnight
• Full Dark, No Stars
• Hearts in Atlantis
• Insomnia
• It (*GASP* I know, I know)
• Just After Sunset
• Lisey's Story
• The Long Walk (as Richard Bachman)
• Mr. Mercedes
• Nightmares and Dreamscapes
• Nightshift
• The Plant
• The Regulators
• Roadwork (as Richard Bachman)
• Rose Madder
• The Running Man (as Richard Bachman)
• Secret Windows: Essays and Fiction on the Craft of Writing
• Skeleton Crew
• Thinner (as Richard Bachman)
• The Tommyknockers
• Under the Dome

**Not included on this list are two nonfiction books - Nightmares in the Sky and Faithful - 

and several uncollected short stories. 

As for the 70 books, I almost got there (hey, I've still got a few days) this year with a goal of 50 - so I figured, why not?

No new macguffolutions tomorrow or Christmas - but to all my dear readers, MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

2017 Macguffolutions #2: Escape

Escape: Go on a Writer's Retreat

I came up with this idea during our recent trip to Europe. I'd been in a bit of a creative downward spiral. Sometimes I'd come up with half-baked ideas only to never actually get them fully fleshed out, other times I wouldn't be able to think of a single thing to write. It was frustrating and discouraging, writer's block at its finest. But I kept finding myself feeling uninspired. Then I saw stuff like this, and the creative factory was back in business.

Tower Bridge, London, England

A street leading to the Duomo in Florence, Italy

Bridge over the Arno River in Florence, Italy

The Colosseum, Rome, Italy

The Castillo, Rome, Italy

Notre Dame, Paris, France.

C'mon, who wouldn't be inspired?

The idea of escaping for a weekend by myself has always been something I want to do. Then I read about the concept of the writer's retreat - basically, you go away (far-ish away) to somewhere you think will inspire you. It doesn't have to be remote (but for many introverted writers like myself, it probably would be), but it has to be somewhere where you are clear of distractions and can just write. We're talking 8 hours of writing each day on the retreat. It doesn't matter what you write, but it should be something you have been wanting to get done. Be it that short story idea you've had bouncing around in your head, the novel you began and never finished, or just prepping a manuscript to send over to an agent or publisher, from what I have read, a writer's retreat can really help you get what you need to do done so you can move on to the next thing.

Once you've actually written some things, you go and explore wherever you are and marvel at something new. You keep a journal (or a blog...) of your writer's adventure. You make notes about the people you met and what you experienced. You eat at a local restaurant or drink at a local bar and just watch and make up stories about the people you see there. And then, after a few days, you come back not only refreshed, but with some pretty amazing work and ideas on paper.

Oh, and don't worry, I plan to write about our European adventure in the coming weeks - more pictures to follow!

2017 Macguffolutions #1: Snail Mail 2.0

Before last December, I didn't believe in the annual tradition of using January 1st to set goals known as "resolutions" to accomplish by December 31st. Why? Because I was a grumpier version of my old man self at this time last year. While I do intend on further cultivating my grumpy old man persona, in 2016, I managed to prove myself mostly wrong about resolutions - macguffolutions here in (ryan)vention land - so I am upping the ante and committing myself to a few more macguffolutions in 2017.

Starting today, I am going to post one 2017 macguffolution every day until December 30th (with the exception of December 24th and 25th because, holidays). Because I feel like dragging this out and because I want to litter your newsfeeds. (ryan)vention is the holiday gift that ~keeps on giving~.

The first 2017 macguffolution is a variation of a 2016 macguffolution that could use a *little* bit of work.

Snail Mail 2.0: Send out Christmas cards and "just because" notes

I've said this before and I will say it again, the art of letter writing is dying. 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, HARRY

Between email, texting, and other messaging platforms, nobody really sees the value in handwriting a note and sending it via good ole USPS. Financial considerations (those forever stamps are 'spensive, yo) and environmental concerns aside (who needs the rainforest, AMIRIGHT? I'm not right), there is something about receiving a letter in an envelope in your mailbox that is magical. Whether it's the journey the letter took to get to you or the thoughtfulness behind it existing in the first place (or pretending it's finally Hogwarts calling you home - or, for some of us, the Yankee Candle Flagship Store *cough*), no one is ever sad to receive mail that is not a bill or junk. 

I'm also kind of the worst at being a long distance friend. 

All of my long distance friends right now IRL

Now, this works out as long as the long distance friend is also the worst at being a long distance friend, because you can be the worst long distance friends together and have that to bond over. However, when you have friends that are the best (or try to be the best) at being long distance friends, I imagine it's difficult when it's not reciprocated. Since I hate talking on the phone and am, in general, awful at texting back (I do that thing where I chuckle, gasp, frown, or nod at the text, and then never actually respond by texting back), I figured I would start sending said friends some little notes in the mail. I'm not promising anything groundbreaking here, but it's important that friends know you care and think about them.

As for Christmas cards, I actually intended to do send them in 2016. I even bought the cards on discount in January 2016. They have cats in stockings and dogs warming their tooshies on the fire. They are the definition of cozy. I planned on starting them (because I wanted to do one of those newsletter -style greetings) in September. Then I said October. Then we jaunted over to Europe for November. Now it's a few days from Christmas and, frankly, I missed the opportunity. As a result, I am holding myself to sending them out in 2017. 

You receiving my letters in 2017. Also another HP gif. Because I can.

Be on the lookout for macguffolution #2 tomorrow! Until then, peace 'n blessin's.

Macguffolutions 2016: My Year of Discovery

2016 has been a strange year - it seems like every day, my newsfeed is packed with new articles outlining all the reasons 2016 was the worst year ever. Everyone's favorite celebrities have died (see: David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince, Florence Henderson, Gene Wilder, etc.). Brexit happened. Kim Kardashian was held at gunpoint in a Parisian hotel room (and people said really disgusting things about it). Tensions between racial minority groups and the police are at a seemingly all-time high (or, perhaps, we've just now started paying attention). We hired a reality TV star to our highest political office. The KKK and other alt-right white supremacist groups are holding rallies and parades in public daylight. 

Our one saving grace this year was Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, and even that was nearly thrown out because of the last four words (for the record, I support the last four words - and I do not need any more Gilmore Girls in my life).

Fortunately for all of us, 2016 is almost over and 2020 is only four years away. 

Confessions of a Candle Fandle

I think I have made my position on Yankee Candle quite clear:

My position on Yankee Candle

Yankee Candle and I have had some good times, many of which have happened on this blog:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit D 1/2

Exhibit E

Exhibit E 1/2

Exhibit F: the official (ryan)vention candle is born

My 6 Favorite Books of '16

One of my macguffolutions in 2016 was to read 50 new books, because I'm adult and I can read good. This meant that I would finally have to force myself to stop buying books and start reading the literal hundreds I already had on my book shelves. Well, here comes the end of December 2016 and the whole not-buying-books thing didn't work out. Instead, I signed up to be a Barnes & Noble member and became borderline-psychotic in buying books from them over the course of the last 12 months because I want booksellers to remain in business - even the big conglomerate-y ones. Having said that, I did manage to read over 50 books this year. YAY ME! 

Me Yay

I've only managed to truly review one book in 2016, and it was for The Birthing House, a garbage book I have referenced far too many times on this blog and am upset with myself for mentioning yet again, so I'm moving on. Given that I truly do love books because I can read good, I figured I'd review my 6 favorite books of '16, because I know you all value my opinion more than you value cheese, and that's a lot. Just kidding. No one values anything more than cheese. If you do, you're a garbage person. I'm kidding. Maybe. I like cheese. 

Am I (ryan)vented yet?

If you’re new here, let me give you a little snapshot of what was going on with me one year ago: I had been married to my best friend for just a little over six months, I was in a new non-academic career for a little over seven months, I recently defended my Master’s thesis project and graduated from my graduate school program, I started repaying my student loans, and I proclaimed that I was showing “symptoms of ‘adulting’.” All in all, it likely appeared to the casual observer that I had my life together, more or less.

The truth is that I was in a pretty dark place one year ago. Despite the relative stability of my life and how grateful I was for said stability, I felt surprisingly lost. I’m a millennial, so I am used to never being truly satisfied with anything in my life, but this time it was different. This time I knew that I should not be feeling so lost. I knew I should just be grateful for what I had. I knew I should be satisfied with the way my life had turned out so far.

The problem, of course, was that aside from being married, I wasn’t satisfied. Despite the life I had and despite all of the wonderful opportunities I’d had, I felt empty. I couldn’t get the following pestering, infuriating, consuming thought out of my head:

Is this it for me?

To provide some additional context, I had been in academia for 22 years of my life by the time I graduated from my Master’s program and found myself writing the first blog post for (ryan)vention. All I knew up to that point was academia. All I had ever worked for was to further advance through the world of academia. All I had worked for up to that point was the next assignment or the next paper or the next test or the next grade and, ultimately, the next celebration for my academic efforts.

In sum, I’d become a bit of a snowflake.

Sure, I had worked multiple part- (and let’s be honest, basically full- with no benefits) jobs since I was 16. I’d had internships. I’d been involved in a whole slew of co-curricular activities. But they were always in the moment. I knew none of the part/full-time jobs or internships or co-curricular activities were permanent in my life. They all served to get me to where I was ultimately going, wherever that was.

Imagine my surprise when graduation came and all I felt was emptiness. In retrospect, it makes sense. I was leaving the only real institution I had ever known – the one that came with all the assignments and papers and tests and grades and degrees and part-/full-time jobs and internships and co-curricular activities and celebrating – and I was entering the first truly unknown phase of my life. There was no plan. I was married. I had a job. I was paying my bills. I was adulting. I had, “accepted that the best version of myself was the one holding a family size bag of Cheetos in my left hand and a ‘sharing’ size bottle of chardonnay in my right while watching Chelsea Handler and Amy Schumer (#SquadGoals) reruns with three dozen cats sitting on and around my person and managing Grizabella's social media accounts” (actual quote from very first blog entry). But my life had been planned out for me by the world of academia up until December 2015. After that, it was my turn to plan out my own life. You’d think I’d be up to the task after spending so much time in an institution that taught me to think for myself, but at the time I felt totally unequipped to do so.

I wasn’t fun to be around at this time last year – you can tell up through my Pad Thai Meltdown – four months into (ryan)vention – that I was zero fun to be around. I was down on myself for the loss of my writing. I was down on myself for my weight gain. I was down on myself for having a baditude (which only increased said baditude). I was even down on an innocent book that never did anything to me (but, truly, The Birthing House was the worst book I read in 2016 and maybe my entire life – bad enough that it gave me hopes of one day being published because, if that garbage book could get published, then surely I could get published – but I digress).

Truly, the source of this no-fun me and the most important thing to note about this time last year is that I wasn’t working toward anything.

I had toyed with the idea of creating and maintaining a blog for a while before this one came to fruition. Craig and I maintained one (kinda) through our engagement and wedding planning process, but once the wedding happened the blog seemed a little pointless. I tried keeping a few through both high school and undergrad, but I always ended up deleting them. Be it the unrealistic expectations, the constant internal battles of thinking that what I have to say doesn’t matter, the struggle to balance having a creative outlet and wanting the gratification of having people read and enjoy it, or just making a laundry list of excuses or “better things to do” – maintaining a blog was something I never thought I would be able to do. Looking back now, I think it was less to do with all of those insecurities and more to do with the fact that it was never the right time.  But it was the aforementioned realization that I wasn’t working toward anything that ultimately created what you’re reading today: I needed to set a course for myself to find my next “thing” – my next macguffin. So that’s what I have been doing.

(ryan)vention saved me. ~So MeLoDrAmAtIc~

I like to think we’ve had some good times this year. Full disclosure, I am shamelessly linking to previous posts (my personal favorites) from the last year “in case you missed ‘em”:

• Yankee Candle here, here, and here
• Fake Patrick’s Day 
• A Crossroads conspiracy theory
• Manual Labor
• Stories from not a child prodigy/third author of a textbook
• Pokemon Go
• Learning about sportsball

The person desperately trying to figure out what to do next with himself is a stranger to me now. I don’t want to ever feel that lost again. Call it a quarter-life crisis. Call it an existential crisis. Call it being a snowflake. Whatever it was, it propelled me to do and be better. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been before. I’m writing more than I’ve ever written. I’m happy. And that pretty much sums it up.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year since I started this blog. Thank you for making this year a successful one, dear readers, and for staying with me through this adventure (no matter how irregular or infrequent the content may be). I am looking forward to what comes next, and sharing those moments with all of you.

To the adventure.

– Ryan