Okay, so have y'all heard about this controversy surrounding Disney's remake of Beauty and the Beast? Yes, you read the correctly. There's controversy with a Disney film. Wanna know why? Okay, the TL;DR is that Disney recently revealed that *SPOILER ALERT* LeFou will have a gay moment toward the end of the film, and EVERYONE IN CONSERVATIVE AMERICA LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS.
Exhibit B: there's an actual petition of real people to have the scene removed. Read the comments. If you're anything like me, you hate censorship to a point where you'll even defend Westboro Baptist Church's right to protest, even if you despise them and their message. BECAUSE THE FIRST AMENDMENT.
Mkay. I have so many thoughts. Some of these are self-plagiarized from a friend's Facebook post, and I turned to (ryan)vention to pen the rest because I didn't want to overly troll my friend. Forgive me if I sound as hateful as Tomi Lahren (if you don't get the reference, please don't Google her - I feel terrible even referencing her here because I think social media references to her feed her power) BUT I HAVE GOT SOME STUFF TO SAY. FIFTY THINGS TO SAY, ACTUALLY.
- I'm sure Disney got real spooked about a drive-in theater in a town with a population of 2,344 people refusing to show their film. Heaven's to Betsy!
- You haven't even seen the movie and you have decided you want to censor it or boycott it. That's the kind of negativity I don't need in my life, and I'm a pessimist. I have a feeling that, had Disney not announced this "gay moment," y'all would have been clueless to said gay moment.
- Listen, y'all. You don't have LEFOU being the first time your sexual identification is being represented in Disney film. SO STOP COMPLAINING ALL WE HAVE IS LEFOU AND YOU HAVE ARIEL AND PRINCE ERIC.
- Disney - if you can't give us a new character who identifies as LGBT, at least let Jafar or Scar have that moment - but LeFou? LEFOU!?
LeFOU!? - Buuuuuuuut at the same time, I always wished there had been someone like me in a Disney movie growing up. And let's be honest, I am way closer to a LeFou body type than I am to a Beast post-transformation into a human body type. And I also don't imprison and abuse women. So I guess LeFou is pretty cool. Who hasn't fallen for a bad boy before anyway? Not Belle. Of course not Belle. No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle.
- I'd be gay for Gaston, too. But only in the he's-a-*expletiveBLEEP*boy-way. Okay. I guess LaFou makes the most sense.
- A lot of these people seem to have known or believe they knew Walt Disney personally, given how many of them are so sure he is waking up in his grave as zombie Walt to break dance and then take down the homasexshul agender against the remake of this TRUE WALT DISNEY CLASSIC. #SPOILERALERT, he didn't really have much to do with the original, because he was busy being dead and stuff.
- *Looks quickly behind me* Oh. I thought zombie Walt was behind me.
- Whatever, won't matter anyway. I'm going to go see this movie at least ten times.
- Many of these people didn't learn to proofread.
- No kid is going to care about this unless you tell them to care, i.e. telling them that only men and women can love each other romantically. They are gonna grow up and call BS on you (hopefully). Also, why is this still an issue? Just live your life and let others live theirs. Goodness me. Why do we hate love so much?
- Can someone fill me in on our agenda? I have felt left out of our plans for world domination for years. Does Lady Gaga have the agenda, or? Sidenote: felt and left use the same four letters.
- This is Disney. They will not close the movie with LeFou leading a Pride parade through this poor provincial town (we certainly couldn't upstage Belle's opening parade, now could we?). If anything, LeFou will probably mutter something under his breath, make the kids laugh, and be done with it. And it for sure won't be like this HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE:
- To the people concerned about sin in the film. Mkay well let's talk about the various sins and/or human (and animal) rights violations that have appeared in Disney films of the past: helpless girl needs forgettable rich dude to save her from someone evil, the only goal for a woman is to get married, change yourself for a man it's fine you don't even have to talk to him first, IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO MARRY A MAN WHO COULD NOT FIGURE OUT WHO YOU WERE WITHOUT A SHOE, an argument for beastiality and Stockholm's syndrome, a lying criminal who poses as a fake prince to win your heart is a fine soul mate...the list goes on and on, but bottom line is that these things didn't ruin the movies for me, so why is one gay moment gonna ruin this one film WHICH NO ONE PETITIONING HAS SEEN for anyone else?
- Weren't Timon and Pumba a same sex couple?
- I didn't even know homosexuality was a controversy anymore, tbh.
- Is this going to be a pornographic film? Because the outrage is hysterical. I legit think these people interpreted this "gay moment" as something sexual. Multiple comments say, "Gay or straight, sexuality does not belong in a kids movie." Uhhhhh. For the record, we, like, do more than just sexual things, y'all. We can even talk like straight people! But we do sass better, that's for sure.
- How is this scene going to rob anyone of their innocence? Or, if that is the argument, how is that going to rob a kid of their innocence any more than a heterosexual kiss or romantic reference, AKA every Disney movie made ever. I was gay my whole life and got to be a kid during the whole thing!
- Does this mean there will be less lines at Disney for the near future? I figure there will be some boycotts for the few months it takes for these people to forget this ever happened and/or decide that their desire to ride on It's a Small World wins out against their *~MoRaLs~*
- To the people expressing anger about Disney pushing their views on children and adults-who-apparently-lose-all-reason-when-they-hear-"gay,"-"homosexual,"-or-"LGBT": so you're cool with Disney making movies as long as it's your worldview they are expressing? Interesting. Imagine if everyone reacted to heteronormativity the way you just did to homosexuality?
- To the people commenting on the petition, "It's not my word, it's God's. I don't have an issue with you or homosexuality. God does. Don't blame me. Blame God." Holy scapegoat, BATMAN! Literally! And for the record, I don't blame God. I love God! And I do hold you accountable for your opinions. I'm just judging you more now that you won't own up to them.
- I wish - I TRULY WISH - people would think before they type, such as the multiple commenters who wrote, "I don't want homosexuality shoved down my kids' throats." I think the majority of the population would agree with this. I also think the majority of the population wishes you had thought before you wrote.
- I didn't know I was a political agenda or propaganda. I thought I was just a human being.
- What do you have to teach your children? If the kid asks about the scene, just say, "You know how Belle loves the Beast, and the Beast loves Belle? Well, LeFou loves Gaston." There. I parented for you. And also welcomed you into the 21st century.
- Also, frankly not sure I want you teaching your kids about LGBTQ+ issues if you're signing this petition and/or are offended about a gay character being included in a Disney film. I feel like you might not get it.
- I sincerely hope these people do not have an LGBTQ+ child in their care.
- I wonder if these people voted in the election.
- Oh! A passage from the Leviticus! Now I'm straight, and so is LeFou! THANK YOU!
- Wanting "family entertainment" is inevitably going to lead to representation of families headed up by LGBTQ+ people. Because, like, we can legally get married and adopt in most states now, and at some point we're going to want to see our families represented, too.
- Wait, how are liberals considered the snowflakes again?
- *Scrolling* Huh. No one has blamed Obama or Hillary yet. #ThanksObama
- Someone says, "Disney has never pushed an agenda before - why start now?" Uh, see Zootopia, FOR STARTERS. If you didn't get that movie was about race, then...well, I still agree with my statement that you probably wouldn't have noticed the gay moment in Beauty and the Beast, actually.
- Oh man. If they actually end up giving Elsa a girlfriend...*sets Google alert for "petition against Elsa getting a girlfriend"*
- *Continues to scroll with one hand and shovel popcorn into my mouth with the other*
- I wonder if Grizabella or Boots feel like we stole their innocence because of the gay agenda? I wonder if they know what the agenda is? I wonder if Craig knows?
- Will mine and Craig's future human children ever have innocence? I was really looking forward to playing with Barbies again. Now I'm worried I'm gonna be getting schooled on the homosexual agenda by a toddler just for being their parent.
- I wonder if this petition is going to get 62,979,636 signatures?
- So y'all were cool with the Stockholm's syndrome and the beastiality? But I thought the gay agenda would inevitably lead to beastiality? Hm...your story isn't tracking.
- I want a pizza right now. Or some of LeFou's brew. Not a euphemism. It's a beverage at Gaston's Tavern at Disney.
- Even though it isn't an official Disney event, I wonder how many of these people know about Gay Days at the Disney parks? Because that's a thing. That people do. So. Awkward.
- I wonder if they know how many gay people are working at the parks as characters?
- Someone says, "What you do behind closed doors is your business." Okay, same to you. So I don't wanna see no kissy-kissy between Anna and Kristoff in Frozen 2, mkay!? I don't want your heterosexual agenda pushed on me and my animals. AND I WANT ALL PREVIOUS DISNEY FILMS FEATURING HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS TO BE CENSORED TO INCLUDE NO RELATIONSHIPS JUST STICK TO THE SINGING AND THE PRETTY PICTURES SO AS TO PRESERVE INNOCENCE.
- Ah. The old classic, "It's not you, it's your sin" argument. And the "abomination" one, too.
- Maybe I'm the crazy one?
- Seems like people want Disney to stay away from any agendas except for wholesome family values. Which is an agenda.
- "I HATE GAY PEOPLE. WHERE ARE YOUR MORALS?" Didn't know hating people you don't even know was moral.
- I wonder if these people know that Josh Gad also originated the role of Elder Arnold Cunningham in Book of Mormon? Would they be cool with Frozen? Do they know that Book of Mormon isn't the family friendly musical it might sound like based on the title? Is this a can of worms I don't even want to open? Probably. I love Josh Gad. I love Book of Mormon. Please don't petition Josh Gad. And please don't petition Book of Mormon.
- What if this is all a ruse and the actual gay moment is the Beast deciding he loves Gaston instead of Belle? And Belle decides she doesn't need a man and instead marches for women's rights? A gay agenda and a feminist agenda. Now THAT'D BE A GAS.
- That's the Disney I dream of. The one with the gay and feminist agenda. And also the "racial" agenda? Is this an agenda? I can't remember who has agendas and who doesn't - I guess I just assume anyone who doesn't subscribe to the patriarchy has an agenda. Because the patriarchy certainly does not have an agenda, no sir.
- Gosh. I love Disney. And I love reason.
Here's the deal: if you don't want to see this movie because of what will likely be the most underwhelming "gay scene" EVER without ever even watching to see what it's all about, that's fine. Don't buy the ticket. Don't "expose" your children to the "political agenda." Be mad at Disney. Speak out about it. Waste all the time you have, I don't care! But for the love of all that is good in this world, don't demand censorship. If there is something I hate more than racism, sexism, "anti-feminism" (or as I call it, stupidity - #sorrynotsorry for being judgy), homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, or heteronormativity, it's censorship.
AND ALSO I LOVE BEN WYATT. IT'S UNRELATED AND HE'S FICTIONAL.
Please share this. These people need reason.
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