Indisputable Evidence that Britney Spears' Film Debut ~Crossroads~ is the Greatest Science Fiction Film of All Time

When you think of your all time favorite film, what do you think of? Casablanda?  The Wizard of ZzZzZz? Citizen Lame? The Godboring? E.B.: The Extrabasic? Sleepin' in the Rain? A Streetcar Named Pretension?

Listen, I get it. I have Academy Award nominees and winners on my list of favorite films that I like to whip out at dinner parties to seem supes intelligent, too. Cool Hand Luke, Black Swan, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Forrest Gump, and Star Wars to name a few. But let's be ~real~ - none of our actual favorite movies are anything we are proud about.

What's my favorite movie? Crossroads, the 2002 science fiction breakout film of Britney Spears. You probably need a minute to make a decision about our future together. You might also need a minute to digest how this film could be in any way a science fiction film. That's fine. I'll wait. 

I SAID I WILL WAIT.

The Writer

Loyal readers:

I know that what you normally find in this strange place is, well, strange with a touch of the absurd. With the exception of the My Lie In Pictures Series, where I victimize Tammi and Ashley with lies from my childhood (although, I do assure you, all those posts do contain in one way or another some sliver of truth), everything you've read here is the truth. Life is strange and, ultimately, what I am trying to capture in this blog is is life. In finding life, we find the strange. In the strange, we find life. The circle goes round and round.

I took myself impossibly serious the first few posts of (ryan)vention, but I figured out that much of the prose was coming from a place I couldn't talk about. I couldn't be fully honest with you, my readers, which is unacceptable in writing. That isn't to say that I was lying to you (I am overweight, I have been struggling with getting back into the craft, I am going through some funk, etc. etc.), but there was - there is - much in the background that I just can't write about openly right now, and that's what was really fueling the tone of those early posts. 

As a result, I changed the way I approached my writing. This blog is about reinvention and finding oneself in this 21st century strangeness. With that knowledge and knowing that each of you are reading this for different reasons, I knew I'd have to ditch the melancholy if I had any hope of reaching anyone. Some pretentious asshole (I almost edited that for "snob," but that wouldn't be honest) is out there thinking You should only be writing for yourself. Well, that statement is only half-true. Yes, write for yourself first, but you also have to write for your audience if you want anyone to read the damn thing.

If you're looking for a humor-filled post, this ain't the one for you. I am writing this one in my ~fiction voice~ (how pretentious do I sound? The answer is super), so the tone's going to be way different. But if you're curious about what I'm doing when I'm not writing (ryan)vention, or if you really are here for the macguffins, then keep reading because this one is a doozy of a macguffin. I'm really excited about it and the opportunities it holds. 

“But I Could Just Stare At the Ceiling” and Other Introverted Thoughts

Well, this is awkward.

It has come to my attention that several of my readers mostly Tammi is concerned about my wellbeing since I haven’t posted anything in a little over two weeks. THANKS FOR THE CONCERN, TAMMI. Because I feel like I owe you all an explanation for my absenteeism (because, introversion and feelings of guilt associated with introversion), here’s what I’ve been doing to be ~so busy~:

·    Reading. So much reading. I’ve read 5 books in the last 1.5 weeks and am currently reading three at the same time. That sounds so pretentious. Sorry.

·    Writing. Hush your mouth, Ryan, yoooou lil’ liar. NO YOU HUSH YOUR MOUTH, MARNIE SUE (pronounced MURNIE S-THUE for no good reason). TL/DR is I’ve been working on what I suspect to be a novel-length work, trying to figure out the characters and the various plotlines. VERY EXCITING STAY TUNED. Unless nothing happens, in which case you can go back to your regular programming. Just go back to your regular programming, I’ll let you know if something exciting happens. I will, however, address this in a post that's already written and ready for publication.

·    Eating pizza, because I’m not a heathen contrary to what you may have heard or whatever conclusions you’ve come to based on this blog.

·    But mostly I just wanted someone to miss me from the blogosphere, so you really only have yourself to blame at this point if you didn’t miss me. SORRY ‘BOUT IT.

·     And finally, I’ve just been coming up dry in terms of what to write about on (ryan)vention for the last two weeks.

Joking and all-caps aside, I have missed all of you! Or at least I’ve missed seeing the amount of people clicking on links, NOT THAT YOU’RE ALL JUST NUMBERS TO ME. I’m kidding don’t stop reading. Real talk: I value each and every one of you. A lot of you faithful readers have been threatening to break my knee caps asking me when my next entry would be published, so that’s been good motivation. You like me YOU REALLY LIKE ME. And I like you! Well, most of you. Liking people is hard sometimes. I should really write cards for Hallmark. <3