The Writer

Loyal readers:

I know that what you normally find in this strange place is, well, strange with a touch of the absurd. With the exception of the My Lie In Pictures Series, where I victimize Tammi and Ashley with lies from my childhood (although, I do assure you, all those posts do contain in one way or another some sliver of truth), everything you've read here is the truth. Life is strange and, ultimately, what I am trying to capture in this blog is is life. In finding life, we find the strange. In the strange, we find life. The circle goes round and round.

I took myself impossibly serious the first few posts of (ryan)vention, but I figured out that much of the prose was coming from a place I couldn't talk about. I couldn't be fully honest with you, my readers, which is unacceptable in writing. That isn't to say that I was lying to you (I am overweight, I have been struggling with getting back into the craft, I am going through some funk, etc. etc.), but there was - there is - much in the background that I just can't write about openly right now, and that's what was really fueling the tone of those early posts. 

As a result, I changed the way I approached my writing. This blog is about reinvention and finding oneself in this 21st century strangeness. With that knowledge and knowing that each of you are reading this for different reasons, I knew I'd have to ditch the melancholy if I had any hope of reaching anyone. Some pretentious asshole (I almost edited that for "snob," but that wouldn't be honest) is out there thinking You should only be writing for yourself. Well, that statement is only half-true. Yes, write for yourself first, but you also have to write for your audience if you want anyone to read the damn thing.

If you're looking for a humor-filled post, this ain't the one for you. I am writing this one in my ~fiction voice~ (how pretentious do I sound? The answer is super), so the tone's going to be way different. But if you're curious about what I'm doing when I'm not writing (ryan)vention, or if you really are here for the macguffins, then keep reading because this one is a doozy of a macguffin. I'm really excited about it and the opportunities it holds. 


Full disclosure, this macguffin might take some of my time away from (ryan)vention, but I think in the long run, it will be beneficial for everyone involved. Why am I taking some of the time away from (ryan)vention? Because a muse is out there, and she's finally calling me home. Yes, my muse is a she and no, you can't meet her because she's just a figment of my imagination (or is she?). I always picture her in an underwater river, floating there, beckoning me to come. I've also pictured her just hanging out in an attic, so she lives a far more interesting life than any of us do probably. Regardless, it may seem odd to some of you that my muse isn't a person. There's good reason for this: people leave sometimes. While that's okay, it's irresponsible (in my opinion) to put the responsibility of a muse on the shoulders of someone else. Been there, done that, do not rinse and repeat.

It's important to make this clear: I am not abandoning (ryan)vention, but I am stepping back a bit so I can focus on my fiction. I can't abandon (ryan)vention because it is responsible for me stepping back into this craft. In just a little over 20 posts, I've found myself again. True, a little dustier and maybe grayer, but myself nonetheless. Without (ryan)vention and the encouragement of its readers, I would be quite lost. 

In my efforts toward achieving the macguffolution of reading 50 books, I've stumbled across several that have really affected me. Oddly, the two that have affected me most have not come from the realm of fiction, but from nonfiction. I mentioned Quiet: The Power of Introverts In a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain in my last post about introversion, but there's a book that's affected me even more than that: On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. 

Stephen King's fiction has inspired me since I read 'Salem's Lot when I was only 15 years old, and I've carried that first experience with me ever since. He sees the world in a similar way I do, so there's always something comforting in his storytelling even if it is often macabre. I've had On Writing in my library for quite some time. I think I always knew that it held something in its pages that would help awaken the writer inside of me, so I avoided it until I was ready to really face the cursor. 

I wasn't wrong. I read it cover to cover overnight, making notes in the margins and underlining key passages that really spoke to me. I knew it would result in an awakening - I didn't know it would cause a rumble beneath my feet. And so, inspired by King's writing once more, I give you the following macguffins.

1. I'm making more time for reading.

If you don't have time to read, your don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.

                            - Stephen King, On Writing 

I used to think this was a giant load of B/S, but I've found that the more I read, the more inspiration I feel to write. I credit this macguffolution with sending the smoke signal that triggered my muse to reach back out to me. I may not have read On Writing without the macguffolution, and I therefore wouldn't be writing this post of macguffins right now. I wasn't conscious of it until I read the passage above in On Writing. Thanks for that (and everything that follows), Stephen Mr. King Stephen King Steve Stephen. Yes, I just casually thanked Stephen King. That happened. Let's move on before I delete it entirely.

Oh, and I'm not going to stick my nose up at audiobooks anymore. I listen to them, but always went with the suspicion that this didn't count as reading for whatever reason. I suspect that this was fueled by my peers more so than myself, but no more. It counts, especially with a 3ish hour commute. Plus, Stephen King counts it as reading, which is more than enough reason for me.

2. I'm committing to writing 1,000 good, bad, or medicore words every day.

That might seem like a lot, but it's quite doable. Stephen King writes 2,000 words a day, which leads to a full novel-length work in less than one month (first draft, anyway). I have every excuse in the world for why this may not work out (I have to read; I have to commute from work; I have to sleep in a little longer; I have to go to bed a little earlier; But my friends want me to be super social, etc.). No more excuses. 1,000 words, good or bad or mediocre, every single day. This words count can include what I write here one day out of the week, but it should otherwise be devoted to my fiction writing.

In case you're wondering, this post contains over 2,300 good, bad, and mediocre words.

3. I will not let the cursor scare me into not writing.

The majority of the battle is getting words to precede the cursor. I've been defeated by the damned thing before. It's just a cursor (although I have to admit that the name cursor is justified).

4. I'm starting with a scenario beginning with the words "What if?"

On page 169 of On Writing, Stephen King writes:

The most interesting situations can usually be expressed as a What-if question...

Among the examples he provides is this one: 

What if vampires invaded a small New England Village? ('Salem's Lot)

Reading that my favorite King novel in existence was formed as a What if question made me pause. The fact that he went on to provide similar examples for Desperation, Dolores Claiborne, and Cujo only provided me with a wider jaw drop. Of course it started with a What-if. I thought about the story idea I had in my own mind that I started just this week, and I realized that whether I knew it or not, even it had started out as a What if question. 

And so it will be with every future story I write.

5. I'm NOT going to plot the story or characters out.

This is frightening for someone who really does like to plan just about everything he says, does, etc., but King makes an excellent point in On Writing that writers are like archeologists: we find the idea (what if) and we use out toolkit to uncover the story. If you plan it out painstakingly, you may uncover the story faster, but you might also miss what could be uncovered if you give the wheel over to your characters. It's really their story you're writing anyway - let them drive.

All I need is the what if along with the names and a one-sentence description of each main character. Leaving room for what they do, who they encounter, and what ultimately happens to them can only create opportunities. Seek them.

6. I'm writing first with the door closed. I'll write with the door open on draft two.

With (ryan)vention,  all I do is write with the door wide open. I'm always thinking of my readers when I am writing here. That's what is really different from my writing on (ryan)vention versus my fiction writing. It seems that with nonfiction writing like this, I feel the need to try to be funny. I have no idea if I am funny or not, but I write the absurd, which I always find funny in an unnerving way. I hope I capture that for all of you.

With this fiction endeavor, the metaphorical door needs to be and will be shut. Stephen King literally shuts a door, and I do occasionally as well. But more often, I camp out at the local Starbucks and bang out a couple thousand words because that's where my happy place is: refills of coffee I don't have to make, just the right amount of noise, and enough people whose behavior is sometimes fun to watch and replicate. Metaphorically shutting the door means that no one is going to see the first draft except for me. It's going to be messy and it's going to have a lot of material left behind to carpet the cutting room, but it's not going to be seen by anyone else. This leaves room for creativity to brew unscathed by the opinions of people who aren't the characters.

I wrote a novel-length work once and had my best friend Nyssa read as I wrote, chapter-by-chapter. At the time, it seemed right. But here's the thing - I never touched it after that first draft, and that first draft is laughable at best. But there just isn't enough to work with. I already cut out the stuff that may have made it great because I wrote with the door open. I love those characters and I loved writing the story, and I may revisit one day, but its soul is gone. It's just a nearly decade-old corpse, collecting dust in the drawer of my desk.

I'm not making that mistake again.

And when the door does open, the content will be reduced by at least 10% (a good recommendation, I think, from Mr. King's book).

7. No more passive voice or adverbs, if at all possible.

I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.

                            - Stephen King, On Writing 

This one will be a challenge. This post alone contains several adverbs, and I have the tendency to fall into passive voice. Adverbs and passive voice are safe spots, and that's the problem. If I am truly writing with the door shut, I have no reason to need a safe spot. 

Plus, both passive voice and adverbs drive people batshit crazy, and there's enough crazy in reading and writing already.

8. Keep it simple, stupid.

Make yourself a solemn promise right now that you'll never use "emolument" when you mean "tip" and you'll never say John stopped long enough to perform an act of excretion when you mean John stopped long enough to take a shit.

                            - Stephen King, On Writing  

Given the macguffin, I'm going to just leave it at that.

9. I will re-write with my "ideal reader" in mind.

Who is my ideal reader? Presumably, my husband Craig Paul. He has this beautiful way of seeing the world like no one else does. He's funny, he's clever, he's inventive, and he's smart as hell. Anyone who has experienced his direction - cast, stage crew, or audience - can attest to this, I think. Granted, he sees the world more brightly than I do, and my fiction will likely be a little dark for his taste. But anyone who knows the dark also knows a candle can help illuminate whatever we sometimes hear lurking in the shadows. 

Plus, he's the one who has to deal with my mind being elsewhere and one day (hopefully) will have to deal with me writing full-time, so I think it's only fair that he be my ideal reader. 

Plus, it's probably time I make a Writer's Widower out of him.

10. Finally, I am a writer and an artist.

Any of my writer friends know how difficult it is write "I am a writer" when you have nothing published, but that's a bizarre outlook to have. We write, therefore, we are writers. We create art, therefore, we are artists. Some of the fear from writing comes from the mentality that we are not yet writers because we haven't been paid for it. If you write, you're a writer. I think what we're all looking for is an adjective to precede "writer."


To the strange.