Will the Next Macguffin, Please Stand Up?

What am I doing?

I'm nearly 27 years old. I've been married for six months. I am a recent graduate of a Master's program in Communication. I have a full time job (with "benefits"). I have a 401(k) plan because everybody told me I should have one. I probably take my cat parenting responsibilities a little too seriously. I paid my first student loan bill. My metabolism is suddenly moving at glacial speeds. I don't drink $5 wine (or moscato) anymore. I'm more than likely lactose intolerant and winning the battle like any normal person by refusing to acknowledge it. I start blogs posts like a Plenty o' Fish bio.

Is Plenty o' Fish even a thing anymore? Full disclosure: my knowledge of Millennial dating websites is over 4 years old at this point, so...

Anyway, real talk: I'm showing serious symptoms of "adulting," which I promised myself I wouldn't do a long time ago. Alas, I somehow became an adult, but I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I am functioning at cellular and sometimes (but not often) social levels, but using that as a standard for comparison sets the bar only slightly above Trump's current qualifications for presidency.


Up until today, I had accepted that the best version of myself was the one holding a family size bag of Cheetos in my left hand and a "sharing" size bottle of chardonnay in my right while watching Chelsea Handler and Amy Schumer (#SquadGoals) reruns with three dozen cats sitting on and around my person and managing Grizabella's social media accounts. That was going to be my life post-academia. That was the dream.

Everyone keeps telling me that my existential crisis is "normal." "It's a quarter-life crisis." "Nobody knows what they're doing ever."  "Just drink wine about it." "Buy another cat." "Stop taking cat pictures." "Stop talking to your cat when other people are in the room, Ryan. It's weird."

Well. Pardon me for not being comforted by the notion that I am surrounded by a bunch of other people having no clue what they're doing. I spent 21 years of my life in classrooms not knowing what was going on and earned four very expensive pieces of paper, student loan bills, and a dying plant in my office cubicle. And while I am grateful for all of those opportunities, I would like to figure this whole "adulting" thing out. Maybe.

And then... *fade to black* ...an epiphany! I need a macguffin! What is a macguffin?


macguffin (noun) \mə-ˈgə-fən\

: a plot device in the form of some goal that the protagonist pursues.

Examples: the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark; Doug in the Hangover; every Harry Potter subtitle.


I spent my entire life devoted to academia - my macguffin was to get degrees. Even if I didn't have a clue what I was doing, at least I knew where I was headed. Academia is over, and I don't know what I'm doing or what I am working towards. That's when it clicked. I do have a macguffin! My macguffin is to find my next macguffin!  ~so meta~

I know several people will read this as the beginning of the ultimate millennial manifesto. I'm complaining because I have a full time job. I'm complaining because my head is in the clouds. I'm complaining because I'm an idealist. I'm complaining because that's all the left wing is good for anymore. I'm complaining because videos games and cell phones have taken away my attention span. I'm complaining because I want more. But none of that is the point. I'm not complaining - I recognize the fortune I've had. I am fortunate to have a career. I am fortunate for the education I have received. I am fortunate for the friends and family who support me. I am fortunate to have a husband who wants the best for me. I am fortunate, but my story doesn't end with a Master's degree and a cubicle with a dying plant - adventure awaits! 

And that's what this blog is all about: the rest of the story. I'll be trying new things, getting on soap boxes, talking about cats, writing poetry, writing prose...anything and everything to reinvent myself and figure out what my next macguffin is. And the best part about it? You can never run out of macguffins.